Greetings Feline + Dark Chocolate Banana Muffins

I was watching a show called "Happy Endings" a few weeks ago and found it pretty entertaining.  Not sure when it's on but it's an ensemble cast featuring a smart couple in an inter-racial marriage (please tell me this is not groundbreaking), the ubiquitous straight-playing gay man who refers to his straight male friends as 'ladies,' and Jack Bauer's daughter from "24."

I felt the young Ms. Bauer, whose real name I'm sure I could find in 1.42 seconds but am too lazy to do so, was horribly miscast on "24".  But she plays kooky well and is much more believable on "Happy Endings".  There's no joke there.  Although there could be.

What made me laugh aloud in the episode I saw was the character Penny (possibly from Saturday Night Live?) who said she grew up poor but still managed to record her dreams in her Greetings Feline notebook.  Greetings Feline being the off-price Hello Kitty.  Now that is funny.  As someone who's pretty sure she owned a pair of Birkenstorks in college, it's extra funny.

Paging through one of my scholarly magazines the other day I came across something that was so blatantly stolen it made Greetings Feline look original.  I present:  Bobs.

Skechers Bobs

If you read their (full page) advertisement you'd think Skechers is doing a really humanitarian thing - they give a pair of shoes to charity for every pair of Bobs you buy.  J'ACCUSE, BOBS!  Where on earth did you get that clever idea?

Right, blatantly copied from TOMS

Now, in this day and age where Bounty PAPER TOWELS FOR THE LOVE have to document the approximate weight of red grapes their damp towel can withhold before tearing, how in the world is BOBS getting away with this nonsense?  

I tried to list a pair of "Gucci" sunglasses on E-Bay last year and was threatened with litigation within an hour of posting.  And yet BOBS?  

I swear I had a reason for that diatribe.  Oh yes, accept no substitutions.  With the exception of Splenda for white sugar in baking.

Dark Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins

(Adapted from the March 1999 issue of Bon Appetit, because I've been making them that long.)

2 large ripe mashed bananas

1 large egg

1/2 cup (1 stick) melted butter

1/4 cup milk

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour (I use whole wheat to feel better about myself although it's nutritionally negligible; use what you have.)

2/3 cup Splenda (or granulated sugar)

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup dark chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Spray a (12 muffin) muffin pan with cooking spray.  Mix bananas through milk together.  Add dry ingredients and stir until just mixed.  Incorporate chocolate chips.  

Divide batter evenly among muffin cups (will be about 3/4 full).  Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean, about 30-34 minutes.

Pre Baked

Post Baked

The boys started their spring soccer league this week and have come home from both practices asking for their "second dinner."  What the what?  This is not Taco Bell.  There is no "FOURTHMEAL(tm)" at this establishment.  These banana muffins + a yogurt have become the post soccer go-to for a quick but filling snack before bed.  

I imagine everyone, like myself, comes up with talking points for a chance meeting with Michelle Obama.  Right?  On top of my list is that FOURTHMEAL(tm).  I feel like she and I would joke about that zany-ness and it would segue into those Doritos Locos Tacos and we would just laugh and laugh.  Bad Idea Jeans, Taco Bell.  Both the First Lady and I are laughing at you.  

P.S.  As I was writing this post I was watching "30 Rock" which featured "The Woggles" instead of "The Wiggles."  As I thought the phrase the went until about two years ago, "I arrest my case."  And also, I rest my case.  Accept very few substitutes.