Asparagus Pasta and She is Good at Rainbows

Last year I had the boys write a thank-you letter to their teacher at the end of the year.  H's was very nice. D's was not.

Now, this was an early 5's Kindergarten class.  He's no Doogie Howser, M.D.  I had to help him spell every damn word.

Speaking of Doogie Howser, M.D., because I speak of him often (?), there's a kid who did it right.  No Corey Feldman there.  What's his name?  Neil Patrick Harris?  He went from child star to Broadway to an ABC hit and back to Broadway as the host of the Tony Awards.  And he's a father of twins.  Listen, I give any parent of twins props.  It's no joke.

Anyway, this year I figured they had learned enough to do it on their own. Or not.  Here is H's:

So H's teacher has been amazing.  We love her.  She just 'gets' H and inspires him and reigns him in at once.  So his letter, which is translated as: "You are good at rainbows" cracked me up.   She has been a constant cheerleader and motivator in his life for the past nine months and that's his takeaway?  Oh no he dinnn't.  But, do you know what?  She does make killer rainbows.  And if that's what most impresses him at this point, we're okay.

We're also okay with asparagus pasta, which I've been making since I first read the recipe in Gourmet magazine in the years before email and cellphones.  I still miss Gourmet magazine, although I love that its last Editor-in-Chief, Ruth Reichl, is on Twitter and tweets fabulous missives every morning that make me wish I were her.  Example:  "Late spring.  Damp green grass beneath my feet.  A flock of tiny yellow birds.  Local strawberries, so sweet, drenched in thick Jersey cream."  Come on.  I'm going to practice doing mornings like Ruth Reichl. Right now my tweet would read:  "Leftover coffee.  F'ing Mourning Doves.  Cheerios."  Doesn't quite have the same ring.

But back to the pasta.  It's good.  Unique in that the stems of the asparagus are blended to make the sauce.  I've been making it for 10+ years and it's a go-to dish each spring.  Unfortunately I've been making it so long that there's no longer a recipe and I've long ago lost my torn page from Gourmet, so here's going back to the drawing board:

Asparagus Pasta

1 large bunch asparagus, tips and stems divided
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 lb dried pasta, such as penne or farfalle.
2-4 tablespoons olive oil
1/3 cup grated Parmesan
Salt and pepper, to taste

1.  Heat a stockpot of water to boiling.  Add a drainer insert if you have one.

2. Rinse asparagus well and chop and discard the tough 1 inch off the bottoms of the stalks.  Then chop the tips and the next 3/4 inch off the stalks and add to the stockpot.  Boil the top bits for one minute and then drain and reserve in a bowl.

3. Chop the remainder of the asparagus into approx. 1" pieces.  Add to boiling water and let it go longer than you would think.  Like 7-8 minutes at a rapid boil.  Turn that business to mush.  Remove asparagus and drain.

4. Add pasta to pot for recommended cooking time.  Deliver the removed asparagus to a blender with about 1/4 cup of the pasta water, the zest and juice of a lemon, and 2-4 tablespoons olive oil. Blend it up.

5.  Drain the pasta.  Return it to the stockpot on low and add the contents of the blender along with a good 1/3 cup of grated Parmesan. Add reserved aspargus tips. Stir to combine and serve with extra grated parmesan.

 Lemony lemoness.

 Blended sauce, pre-pasta.  Gorgeous spring color. 

Finished dish.

I like this dish because it makes a lot out of a little.  It's very simple and I feel a very Italian dish.  And it is gooooood.  

What is also good is calling any offshoot of the University of Michigan Hospital.  You will get a recording that says, "You've reached such and such, if this is an emergency, hang up and dial 911."  I always laugh and think, really? if my kid were choking would my first call be to my pediatrician? Who would do that?   I think the recording would be so much funnier by adding one simple word: fool.  "You've reached the Ann Arbor West Clinic of the University of Michigan Hospital.  If this is an emergency, hang up and dial 911, FOOL."  

The end.  And I am also good at rainbows.  

Roasted Potato, Corn and Tomato Salad, a.k.a. Leah Fantasia Supreme

One summer in high school I worked at a little sandwich shop.  It was owned by a vaguely shady Portuguese man and, looking back, was probably some kind of shell operation or front for illegal goings-on.  Part of why I think that is because he gave me, as a 16 or 17 year old kid, an inordinate amount of responsibility. And also he didn't seem to care in the least whether or not the shop turned a profit, which now seems strange. I had keys to the place and often opened or closed by myself.  He let me name the sandwiches and even make new ones to put on the menu.  The shop was down the street from a restaurant called the Canadian Honker so I made a sandwich and called it the American Bonker.  Oh the joy it gave me to share a knowing nod when someone got the joke. And what a joke it was! Hilarious knee-slapper, I know.

You know how sometimes you're so familiar with something that you don't realize it's weird?  For example, growing up my family always had tacos with french fries. Not until adulthood when I was telling someone how my mom made the best homemade fries and we had them every taco night did I realize it was strange.  It helped that my friend let me know in no uncertain terms that serving french fries with tacos was bat-shit crazy. It wasn't until I wrote about the American Bonker that I realized what a thoroughly horrid name Canadian Honker is for a restaurant.  Awful.  Even if there were a lot of Canadian geese in town, come on.

There was a hair salon in Chicago called Blood, Sweat and Shears which might surpass Canadian Honker in the Hall of Bad Business Names, but not by much.  Note to those naming a business: don't include the words blood, sweat or honker.  Now, I'm no M.B.A. but I'm guessing there's a course covering that little kernel of truth.  However, the Hairport, if located anywhere near an airport, is a totally acceptable name for a salon.

Anyway, I was drinking an Arnie Palmer (the finest of summertime drinks) one day when the owner came in and asked what I was drinking.  I told him it was iced tea and lemonade and offered a taste.  He was a fan and asked what it was called.  Because I was 16 or 17 I told him it was called the Leah Fantasia Supreme.  He had me put it on the menu.  Customers would say, "Isn't that just an Arnold Palmer?" and I would reply "not here."

So last week I was making beef kabobs with yogurt herb sauce and needed a side dish.  I roasted some potatoes and tomatoes, cut some corn off the cob and tossed it with a bunch of basil and a super light and lemony vinaigrette.  It turned out pretty good.  A keepah as they would say in Rhode Island. Carter's dad was over and asked what the dish was called.  Roasted potato, corn, tomato and basil salad was a bit mundane so I reincarnated the Leah Fantasia Supreme.  My stories are rich in meaning.

Potatoes (that remained after I snacked) and corn.

Done.

Roasted Potato, Corn and Tomato Salad (for six)

3 ears of corn, cooked and cut off the cob
1 lb. chopped (about 3/4") red potatoes
1 pint cherry tomatoes
1/2 cup basil leaves, chopped

3 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
salt and pepper

Coat a sheet pan with a little olive oil and roast the tomatoes in a 250-degree oven for 2-3 hours.  Yes it's a long time, but they are so much better when cooked slowly.  And lowly.

Put roasted tomatoes in a bowl and use the same sheet pan, coated anew with oil if needed, and add the potatoes.  Increase oven temperature to 350 and roast tomatoes until crisp and browned, about 30-40 minutes.

Combine oil, vinegar, lemon juice and salt and pepper.  Place roasted potatoes and corn in a serving bowl, add basil and vinaigrette, stir to combine.  Add tomatoes last because they're fragile little creatures (just like me) and gently incorporate.

I'll be making this salad all summer.  Which officially begins for us at noon on Friday.  GACK.  No, it will be fun...it will be fun...it will be fun...

 

I have yet to kill my gardenia topiaries.  Calling CNN right now.  The end.  

Alone Again, Organically. Plus Carrot Ginger Soup.

I'm looking at a pretty full month of single parenting (save a visit from my mom, who ok technically is the grandparent but for sure is an adult and a reinforcement, which is all I need) so I'm going all in on this year's garden.  Group activity and also forced family fun (the Triple F, as we call it).  Yea!  I could be painting our hallway and also all the trim. OK, I could stand to repaint every single wall in this house.  I could be cleaning out and organizing the basement, ditto the garage.  But I figure those things have been on my to-do list for so long that they can perish there a little longer (like 2014 at this rate).

Alright, already.

I have two little friends at home who are very supportive of this idea, "as long as our garden is organic."  Oh Jeez, Ann Arbor, you win already.  "Mostly organic?" I asked as I hid the jumbo sized container of Round-Up behind my back.  "All organic.  No chemicals," they both replied.  Right.

Their school classes took a field trip to an organic farm last fall.  It stuck apparently.  I was a chaperone on the trip and was chatting with a couple of the other moms about how all the farm workers were really strikingly beautiful and maybe it was because of all the fresh air and hard work and all the organic (!) food they eat.  And their skin!  How it glowed, etc.  I was potentially rambling.  Hard to tell.  Anyway, one of the other moms leaned into me and with a lowered voice said, "You do know they're all like 23, right?"  There was also that.  But it was probably more the organic food.

So Sunday we (broken down as 87% Carter, 12% me and 1% the boys combined) framed and dug new raised beds.  My 12% was plenty of work.  We then went to the store and went crazy buying seeds and starts.  They boys were really into it, although if H. had his way we would plant only pumpkins and gourds (for craft projects, naturally).  I'm thinking about all the fresh veggies we'll be getting and all he wants is gourds.  Organic gourds.  For the love.  We bought him one at the grocery store a couple years ago and he promptly named it "Gordie" and slept with it until it started to mold, at which point we got "Gordie 2" and you can see where this story is headed...

Number one on D.'s list was carrots.  I'm good with that one.  Especially since one of our favorite soups  (and it freezes beautifully) is Carrot Ginger.  So easy, healthy and fast.

Carrot Ginger Soup

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 - 1.5 lbs. carrots, peeled and chopped into big chunks
4 cups (32 oz.) chicken broth
1 teaspoon ginger (fresh or jarred)
Salt and pepper, to taste
Greek yogurt and chives, for garnish

Add about this many carrots (I know, I annoy myself too).

1. Saute the onion in the olive oil.

2. Add carrots and broth, cover and let boil on medium heat for about 15-20 minutes, until the carrots can be pierced easily with a fork.

3. Transfer in batches to a blender (or blend with an immersion blender) and blend until smooth.

4. Add ginger, salt and pepper.

5. Serve with a spoonful of Greek yogurt and chopped chives.

What could go wrong?

I made this on Friday and we heated it up after the boys' soccer game on Saturday.  The soccer game where we had to pull out parkas and hats and mittens.  That game.  Go Wolf Pack.  I've discovered I'm nothing if not a fair-weather sports fan.  This soup was all I could think about.  Well, that and what indoor, temperature controlled sports they might like to play.

  Gardenia topiary (one of a pair) that I bought WAY too early to put outside but, even in their ugly nursery pots, they are gorgeous and making the house smell like there aren't three boys and a dog living here.  I'll probably kill them (talking about the Gardenias here) by the time I can transfer them outside. That's H.'s pig, Mr. Porcine.  The kid loves his crafts.  That is all.  XO

Un-Paula Deen Mac-n-Cheese

I make a conscious effort to not let small things bug me.  And it takes a lot of effort.  I still want to stick a poker in my eardrum, however, when Paula Deen says 'oil.'  It comes out "AHHHL."  I get that she's a Southerner; I just feel like she could make an 'O' sound if she really tried.

One of the more puzzling pairings was when Ms. Deen did segments on the Today show with Al Roker.  How was it ever a good idea for those two to be giving America tips on what to eat?  It reminded me of the church cookbook my dad gave me: In the 'Salad' chapter there was a recipe that called for chopped-up Snickers bars.  Good salad.

Giada De Laurentiis did have some good recipes when she did segments on Today.  I was even able to overcome her overly dramatic pronunciation of Italian words.  "Beautiful BUffala MOZZaRELLa." What ruined her for me was our friend Scott who pointed out how disproportionally short her arms are. Unfair but true.  He tucked his elbows to his side and pretended to cook with only his forearms.  It was hysterical and I now can't look at Giada the same way;  We had no choice but to break up.

One of the multitude of magazines I receive is Cooking Light.  It's actually one that I pay for (Mags for Miles accounting for the bulk of the rest).  I love how the Paula Deens of the world love to make their dishes more luscious with BUDDER and AHHHL, but Cooking Light does the exact opposite.  Their Baked Mac-n-Cheese here is proof.  Instead of loads of cheese or cream, the base of this dish is low-fat cottage cheese, pureed in a food processor.  Pair this with the new-fangled pastas with extra fiber, protein and vitamins and the result is a mac-n-cheese I'm pleased to give my kids (and, OK, myself).

Baked Mac and Cheese

1 (12 ounce) package macaroni (I used Ronzoni Smart Taste "With 2.5 x the Fiber!")
1 (16 ounce) carton low-fat cottage cheese
1/2 cup finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese, divided
salt and pepper, to taste
cooking spray
1/2 cup panko (I pre-browned the panko in a skillet with 2 teaspoons olive oil (AAAHL)
1 tablespoon minced flat leaf parsley or 2 teaspoons dried parsley

Blended cottage cheese, who knew?

Where's the BUDDER?  Just pureed cottage cheese and very little cheddar and parmesan.

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

2. Place cottage cheese in a food processor; process until smooth.  Combine cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper in a large bowl.

3. Meanwhile, cook pasta according to package directions, drain and add to bowl with cheese mixture.  

4. Combine pasta and cheese well and spoon into a 11x7-inch baking dish coated with cooking spray.

5. Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a skillet; toast panko until golden brown.  Remove from heat and combine with remaining 1/4 cup parmesan and either fresh or dried parsley.  Sprinkle evenly over pasta mixture and bake at 375 degrees for 10-12 minutes.  

Done and done. 

If Carter ate cheese, this would be in the family dinner repertoire for sure.  Alas, he doesn't, so it isn't.  But when he's gone?  Semi-family dinner.  This actually went over so well this time that I might buy little thermos cups to send this mac-n-cheese for lunch.  

Again, for something to bring a family who needs a meal?  I think this would be great.  Vodka optional.  

Lilac season!  Free bouquet of the week.

X2. (Actually X6; our house is full of lilacs.  It's dreamy).  Searching for the re-blooming lilacs I've been reading about.  Talk about a dream come true; 

When re-blooming peonies are an actual thing, I'll be done.

Hold the door for the person behind you. 

XO, 

Leah

Set-outs plus Healthy Spinach and Kale Dip

I'm pretty open about my love for Trader Joe's.  Coffee, tea, wine, flowers, CHEESE, Dr. Bronner's soap*, sesame sticks, wasabi peas, and now, Spinach & Kale Greek Yogurt Dip.  Oh praise thee, Trader Joe's Reduced-Guilt Spinach and Kale Greek Yogurt Dip.  So good.  Could do with a shorter title, but still.

Buy this.

Here's where I'm going to sound even lamer (is that a word?) than I am in real life:  I didn't want to go across town to get this treat today because the last time I was at Trader Joe's it was sold out.  Now, 'across town' in Ann Arbor takes approximately 18 minutes, one end to the other.  It's nothing.  We could go three blocks in Chicago in that time on a good day. But there's a bridge that's out.  And our TJ's parking lot is a disaster because it's a one-way loop, and there's always someone who, I feel mostly every time I'm there, chooses to not follow the clearly marked asphalt directionals and chaos ensues.  And the carts in the parking lot...my God, the carts in the parking lot.  

So I decided to get all LHOTP (that's Little House on the Prairie) and attempt to replicate this lovely creature on my own.  Here's where I ended up:

Faux Trader Joe's Reduced-Guilt Spinach and Kale Greek Yogurt Dip (FTJRDSKGYD).  Catchy.  

6 Cups washed and chopped kale (remove the stems and ribs)

2 Cups chopped baby spinach

2 stalks celery, diced small

2 small carrots or 1 large, diced small

1 Cup nonfat Greek yogurt

1/2 cup reduced fat mayonnaise

1/2 (8 oz) can water chestnuts, drained and chopped

1 envelope Lipton vegetable soup and dip mix

 This is going to look like a ton of greens...

But she cooks down mightily. 

1. Wash, chop and saute the kale and spinach (there's probably enough excess water after washing so you don't need to add additional water or fat.)

2. Saute greens until cooked down, 4-5 minutes.  Drain excess liquid, if any.

3. In a large bowl, add greens and remaining ingredients.  Stir to combine.  Can serve immediately if needed, but it tastes so much better if left to sit for a while, refrigerated, before you serve.

Dinner.  No lie.  Somewhat sad; also no lie.

4. Serve with pita, bagel, baked tortilla or pretzel chips.  Plus veggies because you always have to have veggies.  

My husband kills me because he was raised in a very proper home and yet he chooses to call appetizers either "set-outs" or "put-outs".  Depending on the crowd, perhaps?  Anyway, the first time we entertained at our ramshackle house in Chicago he had me doubled over in laughter by saying, "Uh, Leah, everyone's going to be here in 20.  Do we have any put-outs?"  The charm has not worn off; and the set-outs just get better.

* Trader Joe's is by by far the least expensive place to buy Dr. Bronner's.  I tried the peppermint soap as a body wash thanks to my friend Heather who got her best New York accent on and said, "It's like an AL-toyd for your BAH-dy." It really is.  It's also good for cleaning up organically after any type of dog 'happening'.  

Greek Quinoa Salad and Why My Sister Hates Me

I love my sister.  I feel like for the most part the feeling is mutual, except when she asks me to send her a recipe.  Then she doesn't love me so much.  Typically I'll start with something like, "Saute a bunch of chicken and add a ton of chopped greens with broth."

She then has the audacity to ask questions such as:
1) What kind of pan do you use?
2) What cut of chicken do you buy?
3) How do you prepare said cut of chicken?
4) Do I need oil or butter to saute?
5) DAMNIT, OIL OR BUTTER?
6) What kind of greens?
7) Size of the chop?
8) Type and amount of broth?
9) WTF, Leah?

I cook by luck; she cooks by recipe.  We are at odds.

I made one of my summer favorites last weekend and thought of my sister as I tried to quantify the ingredients here.  I tried my best; add more of what you like to make it to your taste (best disclaimer ever for hating my recipe).

Greek Quinoa Salad (serves 6 easily)

1 cup uncooked quinoa, prepared according to directions - yielding approx. 2 cups
1/2 to 3/4 pint cherry tomatoes, quartered
2 mini cucumbers or 1/2 English cucumber, quartered and diced
1/4 cup chopped red onion, or to taste
1/3 cup chopped pitted Kalamata olives (be sure to buy the pitted ones to save you the trouble.)
1/3 - 1/2 cup crumbled Feta cheese
Zest and juice of 1 lemon
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
salt and pepper, as needed
olive oil, as needed (good for refreshing if it's been in the refrigerator for a while)

Chopped veg.

Altogether now.

Dinner is served.  With yogurt-marinated chicken served on spinach for fabulous color.  Seriously, even if you don't eat the spinach it always looks good.  Put it on the plate.

Quinoa was a new thing for me about a year and a half ago.  Apparently I was a 'late adopter' on that one.  I brought this salad to the boys' new school's welcome back picnic last August and it was gone by the time we'd been through the potluck line.  That's not a brag; my serving spoon was gone, too.  

Costco has proven to be the most cost-effective place by far to buy my friend quinoa, but you will be buying quinoa for a platoon.  Trader Joe's is second.  If you buy the little packages as the grocer, it will be hugely expensive.  At that point, just go with couscous.  Sorry, Sis, to add that variable to the 'recipe.' 

Spring Break-y

We have a bad record with spring break.  We wait and wait until C's travel plans come together, and, in full disclosure, I'm finally motivated to plan it.  Last year worked out beautifully, by chance.  We shared a beach-front Florida condo with my sister (thanks to my sister's dear friends who gave us the stay gratis).  It was amazing.

Early morning Florida beach happiness.  2011.

This year was not quite as auspicious.  We waited until the bitter end and then tried to use mileage and companion fares to go south.  Not so much.  Also this year we've bought a new car, a new roof, and are preparing to buy a new bathroom.  Sometimes I dislike being an adult.  New roof?  I object.

Plus, we somehow dodged the bone-chilling cold that settles in the upper Midwest for about, oh, 5 months from November-April.  It just wasn't that bad.  "Get me the hell out of here," was so 2011.  This year it was more, "Maybe let's find someplace fun that none of us has visited."  

So I started a search of places within a days' drive where there would be attractions for both kids and adults.  DEAR GOD we went to Niagara Falls.  Although it's not the Roman Aqueducts we visited in September, Niagara is still an engineer's dream.  So Carter was good.  As for the boys, we got upgraded to a suite with a hot tub within the living room (boys' room).  So H. got to sit in a hot tub whilst watching Sponge Bob.  He thought he was the coolest kid in the world.  

Our hotel was also connected to a 4-acre water park.  Monday I was awoken with poke...poke, "Hey Mom, MOM.  MOM?  Can we go to the waterpark now?  MOM?  HEY MOM?  MOM?  Can we go to the waterpark NOW?  MOM?" It was 7:00 a.m.  The waterpark did not open until 10:00 a.m.   So I replied, "Child, do you SEE the lump at the other end of this king-size bed?  That would be your father.   Your father gets to sleep in hotels like this about four nights per week.  Please defer all further questions to the lump."  

Spring Break 2012  - not at the beach.

The boys maybe loved that water park more than going to the ocean.  I'm nearly convinced, however, that we could've traveled about 20 minutes northeast of our home, checked into the nearest Holidome (remember with the chlorine that burned your eyes even you weren't in the pool) and they would've been equally happy.  That's the beauty of six.  They don't stay that dumb innocent for long, I reckon.

Carter calls family travel a 'trip' instead of a vacation.  It's getting easier all the time but I still have to agree.  One thing we did on our trip was eat a lot of bad food.  And we didn't even go to McDonald's once.  No, I'm talking about the family restaurants --  the Ruby Tuesday's, the Chili's, the Romano's Macaroni Grill and the like.  In much the same way my Superbowl Sunday is synonymous with that horrible Velveeta queso dip (which is soooo good), trips, to me, equal, "I'll have the onion rings with that."  Ugh.

Since we've been back I've been trying to eat and serve foods in more their natural state.**  And without cheese sauce.  Oven dried tomatoes fit the bill.  Take a pint of regular grape tomatoes, toss with a little olive oil place on a sheet pan and roast in a 250 degree oven for 2-3 hours.  What happens is transformative.  They become intensely sweet and totally addictive.

Post-roast.  

For a quick dinner I sauteed these tomatoes with a little asparagus and white wine and served over a little pasta.  These tomatoes on a baguette with goat cheese?  Lunch is served.   

 "Look at that amazing feat of Engineering!"  They totally wanted to go watch Sponge Bob.

So many pieces of Canadian flair.

Back to school Monday.  Time flies when you're on a trip.  

**Until Sunday when I have my annual date with every flavor of Jelly Belly jellybeans except Buttered Popcorn.