"Hail to the Victors' Salad" plus P.F. Chang's Lettuce Wraps

The boys were born at Mott Childrens' Hospital at the University of Michigan.  I'm not sure if they give kids a shot of something at birth, but they both LOVE the Michigan Wolverines.  I guess maybe it's more just living in Ann Arbor and going to school with so many friends with parent/grandparent alumni whose influence has infiltrated our everyday life.  "Go Blue" has been a part of their vernacular since they were three.

Mostly because of their friends they've been singing or trying to sing the Michigan fight song, "Hail to the Victors" for years.  The song goes, "Hail! To the victors valiant..."  Except they give it their own twist: "Hail! to the victors' salad!"  They think it's about salad.  Awe.some.

There they were with Vanderbilt hats (from the Smiths), yet I fear with an injection that made their blood Maize and Blue.  This town is something else. 

Fast forward six years and those tiny creatures have grown into little Michigan fans with their own ideas about what to eat.  They do pretty well.  When they both loved these lettuce wraps (albeit the holy mess they make while eating them), I knew that no matter what team they cheered for, we were going to be ok.  

P.F. Chang's Lettuce Wraps (via Cooking Light)

2 Tablespoons olive oil

3 Cups coarsely chopped shiitake and baby portabella mushroom caps (I do half and half)

1 1/4 lbs. ground turkey

1/2 teaspoon minced garlic

1/2 teaspoon minced ginger

1 cup thinly sliced green onions 

1 (8-oz) can sliced water chestnuts, drained and coarsely chopped

Lettuce leaves

Sauce:

3 Tablespoons hoisin sauce

2 Tablespoons soy sauce

1 Tablespoon rice vinegar

2 Teaspoons Sriracha (Rooster!) sauce

1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat.  Add mushrooms, saute 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Place mushrooms in a large bowl.  

2. Heat second tbsp of olive oil over medium-high heat.  Add turkey, garlic, and ginger to pan, cook 6 minutes or until turkey is browned, stirring to crumble.  

3. Add turkey mixture, onions, and water chestnuts to the mushrooms in the bowl; stir well.  

4. Spoon 1/2 cup turkey mixture into each lettuce leaf.  Combine hoisin, soy sauce, rice vinegar, Sriracha and salt into a small bowl, stirring with a whisk.  Spoon sauce over lettuce wrap.

This dish is all about the sauce.  We make two bowls when we eat this with the boys and cut way down on the Sriracha for theirs.

Bowl of goodness.

Oh yeah.

I usually buy butter lettuce to serve these wraps.  The perfectly uniform iceberg they serve at P.F. Chang's?  Crazy genetically modified space lettuce available only at P.F. Chang's.  Any big leafy lettuce will do; besides, the lettuce is only the vehicle for the sauce anyway.

This dish has great memories for us because the first time we made it, probably three years ago, it was a fabulous summer night and we sat on the deck with good friends drinking beer and devouring this as our appetizer.  Since then, we've moved it to main course status because the main course was always a letdown after the lettuce wraps.  You do what you have to do...

I also have good P.F. Chang's memories because there was one in Chicago between my office and Carter's and we'd meet there for lunch as often as we could (about once every other month).  It was a treat.  Every time we see one now one of us starts, "Do you remember in Chicago..."  We're super super cutesy like that.  Every time we speak to each other it's like a love poem.  For instance, this past Valentine's Day I received a text that read, "Happy V.D."  Ahhh...after I realized the holiday and that the text wasn't a reference to venereal disease, I was really touched.  Poetry.

"Hail! to the victors' salad!"

Set-outs plus Healthy Spinach and Kale Dip

I'm pretty open about my love for Trader Joe's.  Coffee, tea, wine, flowers, CHEESE, Dr. Bronner's soap*, sesame sticks, wasabi peas, and now, Spinach & Kale Greek Yogurt Dip.  Oh praise thee, Trader Joe's Reduced-Guilt Spinach and Kale Greek Yogurt Dip.  So good.  Could do with a shorter title, but still.

Buy this.

Here's where I'm going to sound even lamer (is that a word?) than I am in real life:  I didn't want to go across town to get this treat today because the last time I was at Trader Joe's it was sold out.  Now, 'across town' in Ann Arbor takes approximately 18 minutes, one end to the other.  It's nothing.  We could go three blocks in Chicago in that time on a good day. But there's a bridge that's out.  And our TJ's parking lot is a disaster because it's a one-way loop, and there's always someone who, I feel mostly every time I'm there, chooses to not follow the clearly marked asphalt directionals and chaos ensues.  And the carts in the parking lot...my God, the carts in the parking lot.  

So I decided to get all LHOTP (that's Little House on the Prairie) and attempt to replicate this lovely creature on my own.  Here's where I ended up:

Faux Trader Joe's Reduced-Guilt Spinach and Kale Greek Yogurt Dip (FTJRDSKGYD).  Catchy.  

6 Cups washed and chopped kale (remove the stems and ribs)

2 Cups chopped baby spinach

2 stalks celery, diced small

2 small carrots or 1 large, diced small

1 Cup nonfat Greek yogurt

1/2 cup reduced fat mayonnaise

1/2 (8 oz) can water chestnuts, drained and chopped

1 envelope Lipton vegetable soup and dip mix

 This is going to look like a ton of greens...

But she cooks down mightily. 

1. Wash, chop and saute the kale and spinach (there's probably enough excess water after washing so you don't need to add additional water or fat.)

2. Saute greens until cooked down, 4-5 minutes.  Drain excess liquid, if any.

3. In a large bowl, add greens and remaining ingredients.  Stir to combine.  Can serve immediately if needed, but it tastes so much better if left to sit for a while, refrigerated, before you serve.

Dinner.  No lie.  Somewhat sad; also no lie.

4. Serve with pita, bagel, baked tortilla or pretzel chips.  Plus veggies because you always have to have veggies.  

My husband kills me because he was raised in a very proper home and yet he chooses to call appetizers either "set-outs" or "put-outs".  Depending on the crowd, perhaps?  Anyway, the first time we entertained at our ramshackle house in Chicago he had me doubled over in laughter by saying, "Uh, Leah, everyone's going to be here in 20.  Do we have any put-outs?"  The charm has not worn off; and the set-outs just get better.

* Trader Joe's is by by far the least expensive place to buy Dr. Bronner's.  I tried the peppermint soap as a body wash thanks to my friend Heather who got her best New York accent on and said, "It's like an AL-toyd for your BAH-dy." It really is.  It's also good for cleaning up organically after any type of dog 'happening'.  

Lox-y and The Crazy's the Best Part About Her.

I love Easter.  Although to me it's less "The Lord is Risen," and more, "Yay, Spring is here. Let's celebrate and eat."

Growing up largely in Minnesota, Easter was always a sad display of little girls with their pretty new Easter dresses covered up with parkas and snow boots. Such is life in the Midwest, I suppose.  However as this year had been so awesomely warm we threw caution to the wind and made the announcement: Egg Hunt at our house Easter Morn'.

Then came the big question: what to serve?  I wanted something that could be made ahead so that I could participate in the festivities.  I thought Egg Bake, but then it needs to be kept warm and could dry out.  Nyet.  Then my most favorite breakfast came to mind: Bagels and lox.  Add a bowl of fruit and you've got yourself a tasty nutritious breakfast (put your toaster on the buffet and let everyone toast as they go) with absolutely zero work required of you.  Perfection.

Are you allowed to call it Lox if you're not Swedish or work at Ikea?  Cured salmon, then.  Whatever.  It's easy and good.  The only thing it requires is time.  I've been liking the dill and chive/scallion combo.    I've also done lemon zest and chives for hors d'oeuvres.  Nice with Champagne.  A.K.A. sparkling wine (I think that whole Champagne thing is pretentious.  Suck it, France.)

Lox
1 (1lb.) salmon filet
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup Kosher salt
1/2 cup chopped dill
1/4 cup chopped green onions
3 tablespoons chopped chives

Combine salt and sugar.  Combine herbs separately.  Layer as follows:

Greens

Place a layer of plastic wrap on a plate.  Put about 1/3 of salt and sugar mix on the plate.  Follow with a layer of herbs and a piece of salmon.  Repeat layers.  

Wrap it up.

Tidy little package.

Place the wrapped fish in a bowl with a plate on top and weigh down.  Let sit in the refrigerator for 48 hours.  That's two days.  I did three days this time and it was salt-o-riffic.  Two days is good.

Unwrapped and pre-rinsed.

Rinsed under cold water until you can't rinse anymore.

Thinly sliced and pretty.

Accoutrements.  Plus Capers.  

We split the bagel order so there was something for everyone.  Blueberry for the sweet lovers, plain for those who swing both ways, and everything bagels for the salty salts like myself.  Everyone was happy.  Especially because my Muslim friend came to her first egg hunt and brought about the best and lightest coffee cake I've ever had.  It was gone by the time all the eggs were found.  Winner recipe to be posted soonest.  

For once, nature agreed and the clouds we awoke to quickly dissipated.  Easter was gorgeous.

Carter explaining the rules of the hunt (priceless).

Whoo hooo!

Happy campers.

As we were rushing to get the boys bathed and in bed at a suitable hour last night I overheard the following:

- "...But that's what Mom said..."

- "Yes but Mom's crazy."

- "I know that.  The Crazy's the best part about her."

They had no idea I was listening and they said that the Crazy was the best part about me. Can't beat it.  Happy Easter,  Happy Spring.

The end.

If you like it than you better put a monogram on it.

I have a friend whose teenage daughter ridicules me for monogramming everything that H&D own.  She says they will be social outcasts by middle school.  To which I said, "Ha! Their school is K-8 and thus they won't be attending middle school."  But still she persevered.  "Do their backpacks have their names on them?"  Um...everyone knows you don't put names but only initials on backpacks as to ward off potential child abductors.  So of course they have their initials embroidered on them.

"Swim towels?" she asked.
"Every towel," I replied.

Then she told me I had a problem.  Perhaps I do.

Then my friend, the naysayer's mother, made me hummus.  Although they made fun of the way I said it (they're Palestinian), and apparently it's pronounced "HOMmus"  And I'll be damned if it wasn't the best HOMmus I've ever had.  It took about 2 minutes in a food processor and it was delightful.

HOMmus for a crowd

3 cans garbanzo beans
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1/4 cup olive oil
3 tablespoons tahini
Salt to taste

Throw it all into a food processor and blend until you can't blend it anymore.  Our boys have been enjoying this for days with dipped veggies.  Toasted pita or pita chips?  Yum.

When I saw this at Target I had to laugh.  And buy two.  Our Easter eggs?  Oh yes they will be monogrammed.  

My friend and I were talking about how good the asparagus has been and I reminded her that it will be on sale this week because asparagus always goes on sale before Easter.  Do I feel guilty that I told her daughter that it was because the Bible says you have to eat asparagus on Easter?  Maybe I will get an L.L. Bean bag embroidered with my answer: No I do not.