If you like it than you better put a monogram on it.

I have a friend whose teenage daughter ridicules me for monogramming everything that H&D own.  She says they will be social outcasts by middle school.  To which I said, "Ha! Their school is K-8 and thus they won't be attending middle school."  But still she persevered.  "Do their backpacks have their names on them?"  Um...everyone knows you don't put names but only initials on backpacks as to ward off potential child abductors.  So of course they have their initials embroidered on them.

"Swim towels?" she asked.
"Every towel," I replied.

Then she told me I had a problem.  Perhaps I do.

Then my friend, the naysayer's mother, made me hummus.  Although they made fun of the way I said it (they're Palestinian), and apparently it's pronounced "HOMmus"  And I'll be damned if it wasn't the best HOMmus I've ever had.  It took about 2 minutes in a food processor and it was delightful.

HOMmus for a crowd

3 cans garbanzo beans
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1/4 cup olive oil
3 tablespoons tahini
Salt to taste

Throw it all into a food processor and blend until you can't blend it anymore.  Our boys have been enjoying this for days with dipped veggies.  Toasted pita or pita chips?  Yum.

When I saw this at Target I had to laugh.  And buy two.  Our Easter eggs?  Oh yes they will be monogrammed.  

My friend and I were talking about how good the asparagus has been and I reminded her that it will be on sale this week because asparagus always goes on sale before Easter.  Do I feel guilty that I told her daughter that it was because the Bible says you have to eat asparagus on Easter?  Maybe I will get an L.L. Bean bag embroidered with my answer: No I do not.  

Winner, Winner, Cheater Chicken Parmesan Dinner

My husband had a colleague in town and asked if we could have him over for dinner.  "Maybe a few others too."  Super duper.  I love to entertain, but it's kind of easier to do when you know how many you're cooking for.  And the approximate hour that said dinner is to be served, which is another story.  He's not so much a details guy.

So I started thinking about what to serve that would be easy, taste good, and could feed anywhere from a few to a lot of people.  A Crock-pot meal was an option.  Crock-pots had always grossed me out (visions of a pot of CROCK, perhaps?) but my mom forced one on me after I had the twins with a cross between a promise and a threat: "You won't be sorry."  She was right.  Mom?  Mom?  There you go.  Christmas in March.  But maybe let's call it a slow-cooker.

Since the weather turned unseasonably warm a couple weeks ago, however, I've not wanted to drag out my slow-cooking friend.  I looked through my recipe files but nothing much was sounding appealing.  So I went to my friendly internets and it wasn't long before I stumbled upon this.  Chicken Parmesan for people who like short-cuts.  There's no breading and frying.  It's made in a baking dish, can be prepped ahead of time and takes but 30 minutes in the oven.  Ge-ni-us.


Cheater Chicken Parmesan


2 tbsp olive oil 
2 cloves garlic, crushed 
hot red pepper flakes, to taste 
6 small boneless skinless chicken breasts (the organic ones tend to be smaller...wonder why? St. Elmo's Fire mother's whisper: "Drugssssss.")  If using regular chicken breasts, (which I do more often than not..not judging) pound out to a uniform thickness and cut in half to fit the dish.  
2 cups marinara sauce (Trader Joe's Organic Tomato Basil was in our pantry)
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil 
8 oz mozzarella, shredded 
4 oz Parmesan, grated 
1 (5-oz) package garlic croutons

Chicken, sauce and croutons (croutons!).

All cheesed up and ready for the oven.

Watch the cute chef's video in the link for a step-by-step.  But basically, you throw everything together in a baking dish and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.  

Final product:  tender chicken, nice sauciness and good crunch from the croutons. 

I bought large croutons and the only thing I would've done differently would be to buy the little guys or slightly smash the large ones before adding to the dish.  

I prepped this in the afternoon and put it into the oven when I got the call that everyone was on their way.  For a side, I made asparagus and snap peas sauteed with mint and lemon.  I trimmed the peas and washed and cut the asparagus into 1" pieces and had it all soaking.  A quick drain + a hot skillet and they were crisp and done in about 5 minutes.  

The reviews were good, but I knew this was a keeper when I chopped up some of the leftovers and put them in the boys' lunch boxes today.  After school they asked it they could have it for their lunch everyday.  And as they rarely eat much of their lunch at all, that is a crowdpleaser if ever there was one.  

Branches in bloom from a bush in our yard.  I have no idea what this is, but when it blooms?  Gorgeous.  And I don't have to spend money on flowers at the market.  Nice.  The end.  

Fish is for Frying. Plus Asian Salad with Flank Steak.

The dinner I made last night wasn't good.  I'd been wanting fish and chips since St. Patrick's Day so I tried, and pretty much failed, to make a lighter version.  The oven fries were pretty good, but I tried to lighten up the fish and oven bake instead of frying.  Bluck.  Lesson learned: some things just need to be deep fried.  Twinkies and Snickers bars are not amongst those things.  I'm looking at you, Minnesota State Fair.

Now that I've gleaned that little nugget of wisdom, I'm free to worry about other pressing items.  Such as what the good people of Kia were thinking when they named one of their cars something that rhymes with Kia.  Kia Sephia?  Cannot be said without sounding like an idiot.

Or, why does Ann Curry employ Dora the Explorer as her stylist?  It's hard to take her seriously when she wears a voluminous rainbow-blocked smock dress.  I'm sure they don't give guests a choice of interviewers, but if they did, I bet 10:1 would pick Matt in his tailored Zegna over Rainbow Brite.

Or, why is that British couple on House Hunters International looking to buy a condo in Turks and Caicos when they've never even been there before?  Seems a bit rash, if you ask me.  Maybe tour the islands first before you commit?

Since the fish wasn't a hit (and that's being generous), here's something that's always good.

Asian Salad (with Flank Steak)


1/2 head Napa cabbage, washed and chopped
1/2 bag baby spinach, roughly chopped
1 bunch green onions, chopped
Any other veggies you have on hand - I've added shredded carrots, chopped snow peas, and julienned red pepper.  They look pretty.

1 package dry ramen noodles, broken up
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
3 tablespoons slivered or chopped almonds

Dressing
3 tablespoons sesame oil
3 tablespoons rice vinegar
3 tablespoons sugar
3 tablespoons soy sauce

1. Combine greens and any veggies in a large bowl.
2. Toast ramen, sesame seeds and almonds in a skillet until browned.  Don't leave the room.  These suckers go from beautifully toasted to burned to a crisp really quickly.
3.  Put dressing ingredients in a jar and shake or whisk to combine.
4. Toss everything together, adding enough dressing to coat.

Greens

Veg additions: 1grated carrot and about a cup of chopped snow peas

Crunchy goodness.  Unless you burn the Bejesus out of it and then it's smelly 

charcoal nuggets.  Trust me.  

Pre-mix.

Grilled flank steak (marinated in garlic, ginger and soy).

I'm sure everyone's had a version of this, but I've played around with the dressing as some recipes called for up to 1/2 cup of oil.  That's a crap load of oil.  The equal proportions of dressing ingredients works well.  I also add spinach because it's good to eat spinach. For pleasing a crowd this meal is great because you can have the salad made but not dressed.  Then you just have to grill and slice the meat when guests are over.  Easy.  When we make this for a group we usually do a steak or two (flank is a go-to but a good sirloin also works well) and a few chicken breasts.  Slice everything up and serve on a big platter.

Even if we're not serving a group, I make a ton of this salad because the leftovers are so good.  And who doesn't love to open the fridge and have tasty leftovers staring back?

My college friend Suzy wanted to open a bar marketed to Asians called....wait for it....Asian and Tonic.  Still makes me laugh.  The end.

"I'd ask my secretary, but she's dead." - Don Draper

So excited about the return of Mad Men tonight.  Will Don remain happy with Megan?  And what about how smiley he was in last season's finale?  That was disconcerting.  Pregnant Joan?  Sally...oh I hope the writers continue to make her a little crazy.  It's fun.

Tonight I made one of our standby family dinners in honor of the Mad Men return.  It's old school (though updated with turkey instead of beef/pork), it's saucy, and it's always eaten quickly and without complaint.  Mad Men Win!

Turkey Meatloaf (with sauce!)

1 lb. ground turkey

1 smallish onion, chopped fine

2 cloves garlic, chopped

1 cup breadcrumbs

1/4 cup ketchup

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

2 eggs, lightly beaten

1/4 cup milk

1 teaspoon salt

Ground pepper to taste

1 teaspoon dried parsley

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1 teaspoon dried sage

Sauce

1/2 cup ketchup

2 tablespoons brown sugar

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Combine all ingredients with your hands (this is a little eeeew but hang in there, the end result is worth it).

Everyone in the pool.

Post mix.  Not attractive but just deal...

Sauce.  100% sure this is why our kids scarf this up.

Spray a loaf pan with cooking spray and spoon the whole shebang in there.  Spoon a little sauce over the loaf.  Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes.  Serve the rest of the sauce at the table.  

I made mashed potatoes.  Boiled potatoes and smashed with Greek yogurt and chicken stock.  And chives from our garden which is especially fun in March. 

If it were a weeknight, homemade mashed potatoes most likely wouldn't have been on the menu.  And that's OK.  Simply Potatoes?  Those pre-made jobbers in the refrigerated aisle?  Simply fabulous substitute.  Throw those bad boys in a baking dish with a little butter, salt and pepper and nobody would ever know the difference.  

Plated with roasted veg.

H. was done with his first piece of meatloaf before I sat down.  Like I've said, we're working on the manners.  But it was clean plate club all around.  The four of us almost ate one entire loaf tonight (and I had one piece).  I shudder to think of what I will be making when they're teenagers.  

As an aside, the boys call meatloaf "meatlove."  It cracks me up and I will never correct them.  

This is also a great recipe to double and wrap one in foil and freeze for later.  Or for a friend who just had a baby?  Bring them this meatlove plus Simply Potatoes plus a bag of Trader Joe's Haricots Verts (those skinny green beans).  And maybe add a bottle of Vodka, because Christ, she just had a baby.  That woman deserves a drink.  

Tug-of-Peace

Rumor has it that some Ann Arbor schools are renaming the field day classic tug-of-war.  As to not promote violence, it will henceforth be known as tug-of-peace. Can't make this stuff up.  In a town where I feel vaguely guilty for being both white and heterosexual, this is but icing on the cake.

Also, we were at the Farmer's Market on St. Patrick's Day and a (I'm guessing) 12-year-old boy informed us that the (deeelicious) donuts we were eating "probably weren't organic."  My tongue still hurts from biting it so hard.  Really, kid?  I was certain those kelly-green jimmies were made of kale.

Last Sunday we were suffering through enjoying a family dinner and after several firm admonishments to the boys Carter looked at me and said, "THIS is a tug-of-peace."  Indeed.  Family dinners happen for us, all four of us, maybe 2x a week.  Hey, we're not dinneralovestory.com (although I love every recipe they post). Carter's usually gone during the week and even when he's in town he rarely gets home before 6:30.  So we've got Fridays and Sundays.  (Saturdays we either go out or make something decidedly un-kid friendly, and with cocktails, after the boys go to bed.)

Good manners continue to be an issue.  Lord, at this point I'd settle for acceptable manners.  I swear one of them waits until seated to - ahem - toot.  Then he tips his fake hat and lowers his voice and says, "Thank you.  Thankyouverymuch."  Sometimes he adds, "I'll be here all week."  It is horrifically rude and also incredibly hard to not laugh.  If he adds, "Don't forget to tip your waitress" to the routine I will be a goner.

Because making the boys not behave as though they're raised by wolves is somewhat exhausting, we never serve anything too crazy for dinner.  A struggle about what to eat is the last thing we need.  The battle?  She's been picked.  One thing that's always a hit is homemade pizza.  We usually make two: one basic tomato, basil and mozzarella, and one that uses what we've got around.  In recent past these have included caramelized onions and blue cheese, sausage and green olives and, last night, asparagus and prosciutto.

I've tried loads of different crusts, but have settled on the one below.  The original recipe here came from that magnificent B Martha Stewart.  This is enough dough for 4 baking sheet-sized pizzas.  It also freezes nicely.

Cornmeal Pizza Dough

3 Teaspoons Yeast
1 1/4 Cups Warm Water
3 3/4 Cups Flour
1/2 Cup Cornmeal
1 1/2 Teaspoons Kosher Salt

In a large bowl or mixer bowl, sprinkle yeast over warm water and let sit until foamy, 5-10 minutes. Add the rest of ingredients slowly and mix until dough forms.  If using a mixer, let mix on low speed for another 5 minutes.  If not, knead dough for 5 minutes.  Cover with a damp tea towel and let rise 1-2 hours.  Divide dough into 4 pieces.  Put what you're not going to use in a zip-loc and freeze.

Pre-heat oven to 475 degrees.

We prefer thin pizza, so I use a rolling pin to create an even thinness.

With sauce and mozzarella.  I've made my own sauce with San Marzano tomatoes, but honestly I couldn't taste much of a difference.  Bottled sauce is right by me.

Oven ready with super thinly sliced prosciutto and shaved asparagus (about 5, 

shaved with a vegetable peeler)

10-12 minutes later. 

Family dinner was relatively successful.  Leftovers: none.  Tug-of-Peace out.  

Mango Corn Salsa. Salsa!

Do you remember the Seinfeld episode where George went on and on about salsa?  "Salsa, Jerry. Salsa is now the number one condiment in America."  That was fun.

This recipe for SALSA was born from a very twee art opening we attended in Chicago ages ago.  The caterer was pretty high-end.  Callihan or George Jewell, maybe.  I remember bacon-wrapped scallops.  I remember ceviche shooters.  But what I remember most is the salsa.  It was tomato-free, which was a first for me back then.  It was sweet and savory at once.  After inhaling about half the portion for the entire party, Carter turned to me and said, "We have to make this."  I think we came pretty close.  I suspect now we're invited to parties just so we can bring this along.  Salsa across borders!

Mango Corn Salsa (for 4 - double for a party)


1 (15.25 oz.) can white corn
1 1/2 Avocado, chopped
1/2 lime, juiced
1 ripe mango, chopped or 1 bag frozen mango, chopped
Red onion, to taste
Kosher salt, to taste
Cilantro, to taste

Frozen mango, chopped while still frozen (way easier).

This recipe used to be dependent on having ripe mango and avocado at the same time.  When I realized you could use bagged frozen mango and get the exact same flavor, it was revolutionary.  Well, that's a tad strong, but at least only the avocado had to depend on ripeness.

Bad photo of good salsa

Good salsa needs good chips (curses to Kim K. For introducing us to these.  There's no substitute.)

Holy God these chips are good.  It's easy to support the local economy when it comes to buying super tasty chips.

On Cilantro:

Cilantro seems to be one of those things that divides people: you love it or you hate it.  I fall in the middle.  I'm the Switzerland of cilantro.  Too much cilantro bugs me...but more in the same way that sport-specific socks and expiration dates on beer bug me.  Not a deal breaker, just annoying.  

The point is: you can't go wrong.  Start throwing everything together and make it to your taste.  To me, extra lime makes everything better.  I pounded chicken breasts to about 1/4 inch thick and served this salsa over them for dinner tonight.  It was a tasty delight.  I'm also thinking it would be great over a grilled shrimp kebab.  

Salsa, Jerry, Salsa!

Party of One

My husband travels a lot.  Like every week a lot.  I'm not complaining (anymore, but oh dear lord when the boys were younger did I ever complain.  Try solo parenting two sick 2-year olds for five days in a frozen February and get back to me). Anyway, he's a consultant; it's not like he's fighting a war or anything.

Where his travels now hurt me most are in my diet, specifically dinner.  I've polished off a pot of mac-n-cheese over the sink more times than I'd care to admit.  Popcorn after the boys are asleep?  Also dinner.  It's gross.  So my Lenten promise from this lapsing Catholic was to eat dinner like a grown-up.  With vegetables and everything.

So I bought a big fillet o'salmon and cut it into about 4 oz. (deck of cards) portions.  I pop one out of the freezer in the morning and then feel like I must make a decent dinner for myself.  Strategery.

The next dilemma was how to cook that itty bitty piece of salmon.  Then this little gadget came in very handy.

 Microwave egg baker, repurposed for fish.

Now, I'm not big on kitchen gadgets.  Eons ago I registered for my wedding and I apparently went into Williams-Sonoma and said, "One of everything, please."  One of the more ridiculous things I registered for, and received, was an apparatus called an herb mincer.  It was like a series of little pizza cutters adjoined to a big handle.  The second time I tried to use it my Mr. T. voice came to me and said, "I pity the fool who uses an herb mincer, that shit's called a KNIFE."  And I thought, "Mr. T. voice, you are so right."  And out went that herb mincer.  Along with the fish poacher, which we used once in Chicago to keep brats warm on the grill.  Apologies to the kind souls who gave us those awesome and much appreciated gifts.  

Anyway, the microwave egg baker is not a worthless gadget.  I'd had marginal success microwaving eggs in a pyrex dish coated with cooking spray and covered, but sometimes the cover blew off and my microwave ended up looking like a communal microwave.  And don't get me started on communal microwaves.  Gah-ross.  

Post cookin'

Salmon, in a microwave egg cooker, takes 50 seconds to cook plus another minute to rest and it it awesome.  Every. Single. Time.  A little squeeze of lemon and lemon pepper (which is mostly salt, which is why I love it so much) and you're good to go.  And no house fish smell, as a bonus.  

Salmon, Avocado, Red Onion and Toasted Walnut salad.  Adults only.  

This is my go-to dressing. 

These are Hyacinth and Daffodils from my yard.  The end. 

Quick Indian-ish a la Trader Joe's

How did I function before Trader Joe's hit the Midwest?  Oh, I had a job and no husband and no kids and went out all the time.  Right.

Anyway, we've all evolved, and part of my evolution is keeping staples in the pantry/freezer to throw together a quick and easy meal.  This dinner (dubbed Chicken Tikka Leakka by my husband) is always good.  One dish on the stove plus 2 minutes in a hot oven for the Naan and dinner is served.

What you need to serve two (increase proportionately to feed larger groups):
2 smallish cubed chicken breasts
1 (15 oz.) jar TJ's Masala Simmer Sauce
1/2 C. chicken broth
1 1/2 C. frozen peas
Hot sauce, to taste

Serve with Trader Joe's Garlic Naan (in the frozen aisle).  You won't be sorry.  Unless you don't like garlic.  Then you will be very, very sorry.

Come to mama.

Saute the chicken.  Drain, don't drain, doesn't matter.

Add Masala sauce.  Pour chicken broth in Masala jar and shake to clean jar and add extra sauciness to the dish (all the better to clean up with the Naan, m'dear).

Plus peas = fiberiffic and pretty.  If we're not sharing with the boys, I add a generous splash of hot sauce at this point.  If we are sharing with the boys, no hot sauce and I serve over rice (for them).

20 minutes start to finish.

Is it authentic Indian food?  Of course not.  I'm in Ann Arbor, not on Devon Street in Chicago.  Or, say, in India.  But for a good, quick meal?  Standby.  

Easy Oatmeal Sandwich Bread

For the Crowdpleasers inaugural post: Easy Oatmeal Sandwich Bread.

I've been cooking and for a while, but I've always been scared of the yeasty breads.  Kind of the same way I was scared of cooking fish in 1998.  You get over it.  Took about 12 years, but I'm safely over it.  In the way you buy 50 lb. bags of bread flour at Costco over it.

The germ, if you will, of my baking kick was reading the ingredients of the supposedly healthy whole-wheat bread I was feeding my boys.  Right up there: high-fructose corn syrup.  And about 20 other ingredients.  When I started experimenting, I found I could pare that number to seven, including water.

The beauty part of this recipe is that it makes three (approximately 1.5 lb.) loaves.  Loaves and Fishes!  Share amongst your people! (Or completely cool and freeze in a zip-loc.)

Easy Oatmeal Sandwich Bread

4 Cups warm water
3/4 Tbsp. Yeast
2 Tsp. Sugar
8 Cups All-Purpose Flour (+more for kneading)
2 Cups Oat Flour
1 Tbsp. Salt (I use Kosher)
3 Tbsp. Honey

I start out in my Kitchen-aid mixer, but it comes to capacity after about the 8th cup of flour so I switch to kneading on the counter.

1. Add water to mixing bowl
2. Sprinkle yeast and sugar on top
3. let sit until mixture appears foamy, 5-10 minutes

4. Add flour, start mixing on low

5. Grind oat flour - whir whole oats in food processor

Whole Oats

Et voila, oat flour

6. Add oat flour, 1 tbsp. salt and the honey to the whole mess.  At this point your mixer will be heading for capacity.  Let it go as long as you can.  

7. If the dough still looks too wet, add more flour 1/4 cup at a time.  When it starts to come together, turn out on a floured surface and give it a little knead.  You know you knead it.  Ayeee.

Prior to knead

Post knead.  Not the cleanest effort, but worth it.

8. Throw that dough back into the dirty mixing bowl (some say to put it into a clean and oiled bowl, I say "Good Day" to that.  Cover with a damp tea towel and let that hot mess rise about 1-2 hours.

9. When you get these cute little eyes that stay indented when you poke them, you're good to go.  Punch that dough down, girl.  Get those aggressions out.  Seriously, try to break up all the air to get the dough ready for the second rise.

10.  Turn dough out on a floured counter and divide into thirds.

11. Form into loaves and place seam side down into greased (I'm lazy and use cooking spray) loaf pans.

12. Cover with the same damp tea towel you used for the first rise and let rise another hour.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

13.  Place loaves on center rack and bake for 35-40 minutes at 375 degrees.  

14. Turn out loaves immediately and let cool.

Oatmeal loaves plus gratuitous Forsythia

Yesssss sir.

I wrap these lovelies in waxed paper if planning to use quickly, or cool and freeze in a zip-loc.  Sandwiches?  Yum.  Thinly sliced for grilled cheese and tomato?  I know that's also technically a sandwich, but hot Yum.  French toast?  What could go wrong?